So. I’m months away from becoming a father. I’m not freaked out or anything. Just kidding, I’m nervous.

I’ve wanted to become a dad for a long time. Like, a really long time. What’s always scared me was not being able to give my child all they need to grow and become a well-adjusted adult. I was also always worried about having enough money to provide my kid’s every need. Wifey and I do well, but it’s hard not to imagine scenarios in which certain financial needs—even emergencies—suddenly emerge and must be addressed.

“Will we have enough money to support them?”

“What if their education costs more than we can pay?”

“Do we have enough to give them a fun trip now and again?”

Then I remembered: I’m making problems where they don’t exist. I do that often and need to stop.

Though, nervous, I’m excited! I’m excited to meet them. I’m excited to play with them. I’m excited for them to smoosh that first cupcake into their face. I’m just plain excited.

I try to frequently pray that God imbues me with wisdom to navigate the uncharted waters of fatherhood. My mom has faithful prayed that my siblings and myself be blessed with favor with others, and I know that’s why many doors have opened to me.

I’ve also already have received a few words of wisdom from coworkers and immediate family members, but that got me thinking: what advice does the Internet have for me? So I asked, and the responses were as comforting as they were wholesome.

“Show Emotions.”

I liked this advice because it’s something I’ve wanted to set out to do from Day 1. I want to make sure I tell my kiddo that I love them—both with words and through action. The relationship I have with my dad is great, but I must mention I don’t remember ever hearing my dad say he loved me prior to 2016 after a bout with prostate cancer. He’s said it nearly every time we get off the phone now, and that’s comforting. And don’t get me wrong, my dad provided for our family and through action he showed his love, but I believe it’s important to vocalize it. The five love languages (words of affirmation, gift giving, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch) isn’t exclusive to romantic relationships, and so it’s okay to provide a roof over the head of your family as an act of love, but also to spend quality time with them and give hugs to express that love in different ways.

“Listen. Practice patience.”

I can recall many moments I didn’t feel listened to when growing up. It’s not a fun feeling. I may not always have been right but I would have still liked to be heard. I don’t want to fall into the trap of denying my child’s request to go to a party or signing up for a certain activity because I don’t see eye to eye with them and refuse to listen. Quite a few people have told me to remember listening because our children will learn how to do the same in all ways—in private and public.

As for patience, it doesn’t help that I come from the generation of instant gratification, but I know there will be times that I must let my child figure something out at their own speed.

“Prepare them…”

Life is going to throw our child curve balls. Things aren’t always going to go the way they anticipate, but it’s how they respond to change and to the moment they’re in can help them address challenges the encounter in life. I can help them by preparing them as best I can from my experiences but understanding my life isn’t theirs, and their path and mine will likely be different.

“Trust your instinct…”

When I think about becoming a dad, I forget that I’ve been on this planet for 33 years and have experienced much life has to offer but obviously not all of it. I know what I’m doing in many other paradigms because I’ve learned from life. I too will learn while shifting to the father paradigm. I know I’m going to love that child unconditionally and will rise to the occasion to help them navigate this world of ours.

“Enjoy every moment with them you can.”

This advice is a great reminder that we have a finite amount of time on this planet. As I get older, I’m understanding the importance of spending time with family. I already have much of my time siphoned away by school and work, so I’m trying to ensure I get enough family time. I want to be there for my kid’s games, rehearsals, and whatever else they might be doing because I know I can get the time back that I missed.

I appreciate all the different perspectives and advice I received. It’s given me a lot to consider.

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